HEART : FELT. | 心 : 應。

很多話還沒被說出口時就已經吞回去了，
想了卻還是算了。

一句算了，
代表著多少次的失望？

珍惜這回事，
不是每一個人與生俱來的天賦。

已忘了是哪一個下著雨的旁晚，
驀然回首的那一刻，
才發現這一路來都在經歷了些什麽，
是什麽導致現在的種種現況？

無論好的，壞的，
傷心的，快樂了，
在覺悟的這一天，
你領悟了什麽？

終究，
還是學不會。

每次擡頭望著細雨頻落得天空，
每次走在冷清的小路；

迷茫。

空白的腦里衹有這兩個卑微的字眼。

即使明白各種成長過程及人生道理，
可現在的我，
已失去了方向。

人啊，
終會遇到瓶頸的時候。

堅强久了，
是會累的。

心交出去了，
是不會以完整的形態還原給自己的。

無所謂，
已變成逃避問題的藉口。

而逃避，
是否已變成唯一的出路？

我似乎走到了盡頭，

卻看不到終點。

⌚

G R E E T I N G S :: I'M BACK.

It's been 3 flippin' months and I'm finally back !!!

Frequently M-I-A and I'm either just being too busy or too lazy.

HEE-HEE-HEE. *grins dorkly*

How's life?

This is what I ask nowadays, like always.

No matter how hard your time is right now, 

HAVE FAITH ! YOU'RE GONNA FIGHT THRU THIS SHIT !

Take a deep breath and S M I L E. 

Well I hope this helps a tinie weenie lil bit. (duh...

LOL.

Just gonna spread some positivism when I have it now HAHAHA 

cause you know I usually don't act like this unless uhmm errrr

yeahhh you know I'm an emofuck when I'm alone WELL URGHHHH WHATEVER AIN'T GONNA EXPLAIN MORE.

It's J U N E !

OHHMERGOD Time flies and what where did it go??!

I've been through a lot this year, A LOT.

Sighs.

Family, friends, studies, people that I adore, my lifeeeeeee urghhhh.

People come and go, some might stay with you till the end of your journey, some might just leave you behind and never come back. Not even a proper Goodbye was blurted. 

Well I'm just gonna keep things short as in for now! 

(Stay tuned for updates on my problems & complaintssss)

Am really hoping for the very best in everything! Till the end of 2015!

Everything's gonna be okay.

➳

Begin Again. :)

Took a deep breath in the mirror,
He didn't like it when I got playful and childish,
But I do.
Turn the lock and put my headphones on,
He always said he didn't get this song,
But I do,

 I do.

Walked in expecting you'd be late,
But you got here early and you stand and wave,
I walk to you.
You pull my chair out and help me in,
And you don't know how nice that is,
But I do.

You look at me and start the conversation first,

You remember every nickname that we gave each other,

That is cute but he never did.

And you throw your head back laughing like a little kid.
I think it's strange that you think I'm funny, 

'cause he never did.

I've been spending the last eight months,
Thinking all love ever does is 

Break and burn and end.
But on a Wednesday in a cafe,

I watched it begin again.

You said you never met one girl,
Who had so much weird and crazy stuff to do,
But I do.
We tell stories and you don't know why,
I'm coming off a little shy,
But I do.

But you throw your head back laughing like a little kid,
I think it's strange that you think I'm funny,

'cause he never did.

I've been spending the last eight months,
Thinking all love ever does is

 Break and burn and end.
But on a Wednesday in a cafe,

I watched it begin again.

And we walked down the street to my block, 

and I almost brought him up,
But you start to talk about the movies that your family watches.
Every single Christmas and I want to talk about that,
And for the first time,

what's past is past...

Everything from now on,

It begins again.

∞

♥

70 to Nothing | 30 to Hold.

To You, 
I'm Giving My Last, 
For Now.

70 out of 100.   |   I give them back to where it should belong now, my feelings.
30 remaining.   |   I hold them back in a corner of my heart.

YOU, are always my biggest weakness.

Emotions and hormones running from high to low,

stretching from the bottom strikes beyond the horizon ;

and the reason is always orbiting around you.

I've tried so hard , for all the things I should and shouldn't do.

Should stop caring so much for you;

Should stop shedding tears for you;

Should get over you;

Should make myself happier;

Should make my life more easier;

Should finally say goodbye...

Shouldn't care bout you anymore;

Shouldn't have that terrible heartache when I heard about you;

Shouldn't have that urge to cry when I think of you;

Shouldn't fall for any single thing from you anymore;

Shouldn't be emotional and over-think for now...

But sometimes when I see you suffering from your obstacles in life,

I can't help but to reach out to you.

I just can't sit back and watch.

And yet, I offered my caring and overwhelmed feelings.

I know,
Some things, some people are meant to be parted.
Like Me & You.
It's been more than a year,
and we still couldn't get an answer.
And all we get for each other was
a Goodbye & a heartfelt smile. :')

You've been doing well after you left, I can see that.
And I wish for the best for you in your future,
I always got your back no matter what,
and you know that.

And I...well...
I wasn't having a good time back then.
A lot happened and changed.
But I'm better off now,
starting something new.
It's just that,
I'll still think of you and your deeds whenever 
I walk past somewhere we've spend time together before.
The memories are still fresh in my mind.


One last time,
ilyaimysm.

Goodbye. 
:')

And it's time to really let go of someone that ONCE meant so much to you.



♡

2 OHH 1 5.

It's been exactly 7 VII  months, since I last updated my blog.

I'M BACK ! :)

A LOT, changed within these 7 months. 
Families and friends, love and hate.
From smiles to frowns, 
laughter to tears, 
fears to fights.

I did not know how I survived and still get to breathe at this moment.

And I thought that I've lost myself in those sleepless nights.

I did.

I was so lost.

But now, I've gotten a tiny weenie lil better.
70%.

Thanks to a piggy that accompanied me throughout the time,

especially during my last semester break, up till now. :')

And...I think there's something between us.
I'm not sure, but...
Ohhwell, let's not rush and keep the flow going.

【THE RIGHT TIMING.】

I always believe that the right timing changes everything from what you've supposed to expect.

✪

Changing, Keep It Up. :)

Day by day, all that's in my head are you, me and us.
I dreamed of everything that could be, but non of 'em was real.
At times I woke up from my dreams and went way back to sleep, just to lean back to the surreal realm. 
I don't what's going on now, I don't know what you're thinking, I don't know what am I doing I JUST DON'T KNOW.
I think all I did positively for the past few weeks was just, BREATHE.
I know I was being stupid, stubborn and emotional shit during this while...I just don't know how to keep myself satisfied and cheerful every now and then.
The feeling is coming back. The feeling of giving up, every semester break when I don't see you.
That's the problem, I perhaps.
You did nothing wrong, it's only me who over-think, every time.
To know that this is not necessary, even me myself is annoyed by my act and my way of thinking. Crap.
"LAW OF ATTRACTION", someone, as in a friend of mine always emphasizes this theory to all of us.
Things happen according to the way you treat it, thus, your attitude.
Bullshit.
I don't really buy that at first, to be superstitious or not, things really turned out to be how you think.
I realized.
Trying to be positive and coherent from now on, just to make things straight.
I'm sure that we didn't fake the memories up, we've been through it.
I'll keep it on, keep my feelings rolling, until the day that I'm severely broken.
I'll be fine, let it be.
See you in 5 days time, 
I promise I won't be a proud thug as before, I promise I'll act normal.
I'll smile, when I see you.

Yeahhh, I'll keep that smile on.
:)

A sky full of stars,
there we'll be.





✪

等一個人。The Waiting.

『每一個人，都在等一個人。等待一個，能看見你與衆不同的，那一個人。』

何時，我才會是那一個人？

幾時，才能變成一個能讓TA摸出烤香腸和熱豆花來的...

那一個人？

對，每個人都在等一個人，

只是我們不知道那個人何時會出現，

也不知道目前我們所認定的那個人，

到底是不是我們所在等的那一個人。

如果你有在等一個人，或者在等待有個人出現，

看過此片，

你應該會回想身邊有沒有錯過一些人了。

不需華麗的邂逅，

不用驚世的遇見。

隨緣相聚，

便好。

亦如故事裏所描述的，

若你能找到一個為你擋下一槍，替下一刀，

把你的生命安全都比自己的擱先，

不要錯過。

因爲人生裏沒有幾個腦子沒長好蠢得連自己媽媽的心肝寶貝的性命都為你而丟了的人。

懂吧？

人們有時沉溺與天使的美好，

而往往錯過了身邊你視而不見的小小幸福守護者。

直到這些卑微的守護者要離開了，要放手了，

才來懂得二詞 [ 珍惜 ] 是什麽回事。

沒有人，

會永遠無怨無悔地留守在一個不重視自己的人的身邊，

因爲人，

是會累，會疼，會撐不住要放棄的。

對自己誠懇，

才能對得起自己。

也許對自己坦誠一番過後，

有得有失，

但至少自己不會再盲目地往深淵墜落，

遍體鱗傷。

別指望別人會和你感同身受，

因爲別人不可能。

最後疼的，還是自己。

要明白，

人生裏需要 [取捨]。

以爲自己一直追尋著的東西，

都是自己喜歡的，

也許到最后，

那些東西對你來説根本不重要，不至於你去死纏爛打，

糾結個沒完沒了世界末日。

但也可能因爲以前的執著和倔強，走到這個地步，

才能讓你瞭解你内心裏真正尋覓的東西。

而這段盲目且只靠股傻勁兒的路途，

[ 勇氣 ] 是最值得讚賞的。

若當初沒勇氣去起航，

哪來現在的一切？

也因爲 [ 勇氣 ]，

才能讓你得到你想要的。

等，緣分的邂逅，

等，命運的安排。

等，一個人，

等，那個人。

等，你，

等，我。

愛情，
不談愧疚。
不需要翅膀的天使，煙霧繚繞中的全知眼神。
等一個人咖啡，
阿不思。



♡