I couldn't think straight, or even think positively.
How am I supposed to believe in someone or something when I don't even trust myself ?
Keeping distance is all I can do now.
Cause this is what that assures everything's gonna be safe and sound.
But it's the matter of time, and also
fate.
I'll eventually leave when I lose these two one fine day.
It's alright. :)
Cherishing everyday that I'm living.
Sunrises , sunsets and the night sky.
Warm air, cool wind and the chilly breeze.
I have what I'm supposed to have now,
and you're just an unexpected role played in my drama of life.
Go on, no one knows what the finale will be.
I'll play my part, get along,
not expecting much.
Yes I fear, I'm afraid.
Distance, is what makes me feel better;
ain't getting so much pain and hurt when I fall one day.
That one day will come eventually, I know...
But not now.
I...
just couldn't leap one step closer to,
You.
Thinking of you just makes me weaker.
You did nothing wrong, nothing at all.
It's just me,
the timid, fearful...
Me.
I rather stay away, stand far behind watching you silently,
than to appear in front of you every now and then.
I don't want to bother you in any way.
Cause I don't know how you think about me,
I don't know what you see in me.
And I don't even know how to like / love someone (?)
That's why.
People around kept saying how silly and stupid I am to think and act in such way.
Well this is me.
A crazy & joyful person in front of people in the day,
but a timid & emotional person in front of myself in the midnight.
I think too much, and this is bad.
I know.
I haven't seen you for 10 days,
since last Tuesday.
And this feeling sucks,
it's like I've never seen you for 10 weeks, 10 years.
I got kinda emotional these few days.
I couldn't smile wholeheartedly, I feel tired.
I don't even know why and what's the actual damn reason.
I only got better and chuckle a lil when I see my 12 lovely boys. :)
Especially 경수. ❤
And...
I saw your updates,
but I didn't want to approach you.
I just...
I can't.
I'll try later on, okay?
I guess I'm having trouble with my thoughts and courage,
probably myself.
It's not that easy as people think and the advice they give me.
They ain't me,
I ain't them.
Things don't happen the same way on every person's aspect.
Someday,
I'll be brave enough to do everything I've wanted to.
Someday,
I'll change.
Someday,
I'll be better.
Someday,
I'll breakaway.
 |
I'll make sure to keep my distance,
say "I love you," when you're not listening. |
